pearbox : undefined

Saturday today, got a few papers to write, *smiles* should be pretty fun, and enjoyable,
But yah, before i get to that, i’m just going to add my blog entry for today, and a bit about yesterday.

Yesterday
it wasn’t that bad, enjoying school as usual, Started Calculus and i think i might be liking it, cause its concepts and ‘manipulating’ numbers in gray areas of the rules, :D, so maybe it won’t be that bad… better than Functions I hope
Lunch we had fellowship meeting, Worship, and time of introducing each other… really cool, felt like so little time though… but hten i guess cliche: “time flies when you’re having fun”
after school, i went to get new glasses got these half frameless ones, only has the top bar… sorta weird,
but they’re ok, i guess— cause it doens’ come back down, and hopefully they won’t break as easily as the ones i have right now,
Oh wells, atleast i’ll have two pairs of glasses, and got clip on shades w/ my new ones, so i can actually drive
After that i got a haircut… at this ‘new’ place run by MainLand China ppl, rather htan my usual HKish place… didn’t go to the usual place cause there were like 2 ppl in line and i was sort of in a hurry. though i liked the other place cause its like a couple, managing a small operation to support their family. This new place which is a few stores next to it, is a lot smaller and not as pretty, none of that cleancut, stylized hair cutting place, more like 4 walls, 3 chairs, and their equipment. I think its run by a family… say a mom, daughter and someone else… pretty empty, so I think I’ll put my $ to support this place instead of the other one… though its tough communicating since they speak in mandarin with a bit of cantonese, and i’m on the cantonese / english side; but its cool.
After that went to Aletheia for Bible study which was really insightful.
I don’t know why but lately everytime we look at the NT, on Sundays, BibleStudies, books, and what not… they have taken a new air of interest… God answering my prayer of giving me a new perspective / thirst for his word? I hope so. I feel so unfamiliar with the Bible. could also be cause i’ve been in Psalms for the last while… studying / memorizing…. which still rox
When i got home, i killed my computer again, had to pull out my HDD from my dad’s computer and put it back in mine to fix the partition *grrr* waste of 2 hours… oh wells,

Today
I woke up at 8:45, pretty tired having only 6.8 hours of sleep, went to the medical centre to get blood extracted, but then when we got there, we forgot the paper, so we went home and came back, and found the line was like some crowded yumcha place
so me and my mom just went to eat breakfast, and talked about stuff… And my mom gave me an interesting idea

Future Perspective
Yah… Idea was something like, She and my sister would go to England to see my Aunt’s Daughter (my cousin?? ~ never seen them ever) get married in march, my grandma would got to England, and join my mom / sister back to Canada. She’d then stay for 2 or so months, and i could take my G2 in the marchbreak, (hopefully get it), and then after school, i’d head over w/ my grandma to HK, get my citizenship renewed, visit relatives, go shopping for clothes and technology *yaya*; then probably head back after a month or so to Canada, and get a job somehow… OR if God calls, and arranges go on a missions trip w/ church ppls (Art mentioned he wanted to have one to China)… so yah.. i dunno, pretty much playing with ideals. Lots of Prayer needed to clarify God’s sovereign plan

back to the present
But yah… i guess back to reality and the present, I’m kinda of shifty on what exactly is happening, I feel my most cherished friendship seems to be weak and somewhat falling apart, feels so easily to just call it quits, and just go on. But i don’t want to do that… as much as it hurts, i want to persevere on, i want this love to go on, I still believe in my promise… John 15:7, Abide in God and get what i want most in my heart. Even though the romance has died… and the friendship seems kind of off on a tangent, I’m trying hard to get back… but i don’t quite think she wants to… And I feel its like i’m being pushed aside for other things, people. But thats ok she has choice, and i don’t have to be that choice… I want her to be happy, whether i actively share in that happyness or not. The thing i guess i struggle with is that… while i feel like i’m being pushed aside, part of me feels a bit repelled and i wonder if i’d be happier with someone else. A new appreciation has also spawned in me of someone else, and maybe its in the infaturation process, i really don’t know. but as with everything, married or not, each person has a will, and though it looks like a possibility, I refuse to choose now.
1. I want to be loyal to the one I’ve first chosen, I am not a traitor
2. Its not the time to think about such things, grade 12, focus
3. Its not in me, to leave a friendship kind of hanaging, and going to seek something else to replace it
4. Building friendships is so much more important than a relationship.
Yet even in midst of all that, I feel tempted to take the easy way out… It would make life ‘easier’ maybe… to just live an indifferent life, forgetting all that has happened, all that was said, tossing all of that into a pool of meaningness.
*shrugs*
“True Love is fully proven… when it is given away” am i ready to do that again? it hurts and i guess i am. but I’m not to choose now.

As tempting as it is… and my mind occaisonally broods the thought
and as much as i appreciate this new person for her personality, and how much she loves God
(which is for me… the most attractive thing in a girl.)
It all God’s choice, and God’s time, (which definately isn’t now)
I surrender all my rights, to Him.

I’ve cast my choice — and I want that to be the final one.
if Not, I trust God has an alternative in his Sovereign plan.

God - my truest lover. He’s my choice, now and forevermore.
whatever else will be his blessing which i will cherish my whole life.