pearbox : undefined

aiya…
really drained and tired with all these english assignments and projects all piled up…
feel like i’m gonna break, and burn out (if i haven’t already) but i can’t do that…
no gotta persevere! endure! fight! ISUs are coming…

motivation (continuing my war theme)
‘the hoards are upon us… yet the swarm is yet to come! come brandish forge iron, and let moonlight glint on your blades! Let us fight to the the bitter end and smite our enemies… destroying them, and let our rounds of arrows rain upon them, with archer’s eye, the cool silent capture…’

yum.. english love it…
ironically i hate it now… cause of the amount of work thats being piled on me in both my english courses
ugh.. deVries why must ye do this? Writer’s Craft is ok… save for the weekly bulk of assignment things, which are starting to tick me off… cause i don’t really see what she wants us to learn… some of the projects seem a bit random… tho remotely connected, its hard to draw the lines between them… i just want to focus on a certain topic and kill it.

‘about my war… this tired and weakened knight.. his sword drips blood, and his brow sweats exhaustion… the battle is only just begun, the war far from over… he falleth on his knees… the desert sun burns upon his back… baking the air aroudn him.., it is at this time whence the enemies send their minor infantary to defeat him, on all sides they swarm, their claws, their fangs… all around… few are their number in comapred to the swarm… yet deadly… deathly… they strike and strike…’

stuff to do - - -
Data Management - Probability Game - Final touchups
English - Poetry Portfoio - catch up / ISU
Calculus - Log - learn / understand
Physics - contemplations of drop
Computer Science - annoying contest / ISU
OrgStudies - ISU
Writers - miscellanious / ISU

‘alas they tear at his flesh, trying to defeat him…. their claws clang and scratch on the mail, the steel armour, the knight … weary throws his arm around swinging his sword in a waiverying arc…. trying to destroy some of these fiends…. time awaits… the swarm is coming…. even now the minors do stir…’

fini

arg.. 3:09 again..
grr i really just hate these late nights… man i’m gonna be so exhausted but still gotta finish killing off this stupid essay outline
all these late nite writings are beginning to tick me off— and essays.. darn it.. oh how i loathe the…

grade 12 — gotta survive gotta survive, so close… just 1 more term and 1 more list of exams… gotten so far
accepted to university…. can’t let everythign slip and fall…. no! must persevere! fight! wage war!
the banners do flout… and the horses trample in uneasyness…
ah tis night, tis Knight taht will lead us through…
following through, with swords, sharpnal, steel glimmer in teh sunlight!
ah my blue banner does flout the sky!
fie fie!
to arms ! destroy!

ugh… we enter ISU season… more sleep belittled nights are sure to come *darn it*

*cheers*
just woke up from a nice 2 hour nap—
Today killed off last day of promiseland :), had my little party which i could’ve done more for the kids..but oh wells, too late for that now right? we’ll see later if i’ join and *try* to teach again… meanwhilst after that; i went to find Gabes, and somehow got ‘conscripted’ into the easter drama thing.. so *gulp*, hope i can manage it…

After that, i went over to fairview library and got my TPL (toronto public library) ::finally: SO EXCITED! and finally got that book (its a play) that the MPL (markham public library) lost..

‘and now with this night blue plastic… the power of english literature, read, write, and minor technology use… in my hands! finally! muwahahaha’

*rolls eyes* never mind.

so then i went home and fell asleep for a nice long two hours tehehehes

dreams
weird dream for today…
(probably because of drama / friday’s AV and walking thru the whtie house?)
Well we’re practicing and they totally redid the interior of the white house, so its sorta like a one sided kitchen/living room with seats on the other side, and we’re testing sound and what not, and we’re discussing that mp3 recorder, and they’re discussing about fixing some technical stuff, and i try to give my opinion but i sorta get ignored : so instead i went over w/ viv and whomever to play on some video console… some racing game? O.o

but yah.. bla..

+ rite… ‘plus right’, today’s sermon was amazing… felt like another of God’s simple truths unveiled to me… it was about temptation, and how sometimes we feel that urge to do it our own way… and God seems no where in sight… yet we gotta persevere and wait… cause we know the TRUE reality paradoxal, but unfailing love (the truth) is coming… just gotta wait for a bit longer

Well Saturday Afternoon now, and i have yet to start / finish my bulk load of hwk
still got OrgStudies / Calculus / English to do.. (fun)
but yah… i hope to work as hard as i can this afternoon casue else i’m really screwed over.
stupid outlines and thesis things… haven’t exactly fully read the books so *gulpers* to that
blah-ness…

but yah term 2 (half) of the school year has gone, and now the second half, also known as landslide of ISUs *glup*
just a few more months..
but really contemplating on whether to drop Physics or Not..>

i’m leaning on dropping since i have way too much work to manage + i really don’t want to have another few weeks of sleeping at 3 again… so i dunno, i don’t wanna drop physics… but i gotta drop it for survival; I’ll wait till i get my report card (next saturday) before i make my final decision i guess..

~ really only need physics for business (schulic), else everything else just needs english — the only challenge after taht is to up my Calc mark so that my overall doesn’t drop beneath the 85% line so i can still get my bubble scholarship of $2000 *sigh stupid financial things*

wells off to work !

ahhhh (yes vivian i’m “ahhhh-ing” again)
but its 7:01 AM!

i guess my resolve to work hard and not sleep failed
i faintly recall trying to write my introductary paragraph and after scrapping it a few times decided to ‘close my eyes’ to ‘think’, and as usual that dosen’t work (since i’m so utterly exhausted already), next thing i know… i wake up cause i gotta go to the washroom (go half a litre of water i drank — see told you it’d work ^_~ +yes Gabes ‘indian styles’ lol) and ran to my computer and stared at my blank screen before getting down to business and writing

but MAN i’m so tired… stupid ben jonson and shakespeare.. so very hard to do… and i somehow maxed out 2 pgs … and got 3 double spaced? :O i should shrink it back to single spaced whence its actually 1.5 pages

but yah.. 7:04 now … and wells school starts in an hour and some — gotta skim proof read and print out and get changed
gonna be a long day esp w/ AV after school oh wells God be with me… (i so need it)

ahhhhh

+darn essay - was having a cool dream too with Gabes, Karmel, Stephen, Vivian, Tim, at church doing stuff
wells off i go ~ *

wells long last long awaited friday… before another wretch filled weekend
i just woke up from a car ride home….
and man i’m tired

compsci club — didn’t get to come hom early
oh wells gotta *say chaang* till i finish writers craft
do some calc, and finalize data-mon game

gotta focus tonight, no slacking — no sleeping till i’m done (writers anyways)

dream from this morning
writing an english test…
then writing a physics test right after… except i realize i forgot to hand in some of the sheets for english, so i rush out and find teh teacher, after i come back i realize i don’t have a desk so i have to squish, and then i realize i dont’ have my physics exam.. so i ask teh teacher and she’s like oh… here you go here’s the last one.. i only have half so she shrugs and tells me to do it (get like 50%), after squishing doesn’t work so teacher tells me to go outside… and its conveniently raining, and really cold, so i’m huddled in a corner trying to write my exam.. and i stare at it… making no sense to me… *sighs* — then Gabes comes along and next thing i know we’re camping…. [in hk?] and he’s showing me his new radio he has, and hte new controller… all really cool stuff..

but :O i dreampt i was writing an exam *ugh*
‘you know you’re over stressed w/ school when….’

but yah *shiver shiver* so cold right now gotta shower and get working

reading - Brave New World for hwk
~fini

Monkey Island 4 !! ahhh why must ye be so good (haha probably be one of my fav series of adventure games — gotta luv those dry humourous / witty LucasArts games :p) but yah.. i really shouldn’t be having that ready to laod up any moment especially when i have so much work to do agh :S

stuff due soon:
Writer’s Craft Comparrison Essay - Ben Jonson && Shakespeare
Data Management - Probability Game
English 12 - ISU OUTLINE :S
Org Studies - Bibliography / Thesis

aiyeeeaiy!

alrite no more slacking / being distracted nows

+thanks Shirley for suggesting is leep earlier last night,
(which i did… slept at 11 — early compared to the 2s & 3s for the past 4 -5 days)
but yah today i aim to finish writers, and then get crunching on those ISU assignemnets (oh grr)

*breathes out*
wells, that was another routine day… didn’t do much
except for that english test *why must ye be so complex*
but yah — seemingly only last week i was really stressed out cause of hte massive loads of work I have to get through
and yet today i find my self in the same situation, oh blissful *glea*
Writers- Compare Shakespeare / Ben Jonson
English- ISU outline
OrgStudies - ISU thesis
ontop of that physics / calc w/ stuff i realy gotta get around digesting…
and sleeping late doesn’t help at all — demoralizing, draining…
like today when i was bussing home, was on Brimley, and i figure i might as well sleep since i get off on the last stop, and you can’t miss the last stop right? WRONG!~ 15 or so min later i wake up, look around ah 2 more stops, *closes eyes*, 10 min later *wakes up* looks around where am i ? its hosues.. that look oddly familiar… i should be on brimley.. i see a church… *wait a sec thats suppose to be on the other side… aahh crap* so i ended up going from sheppard up to steeles, back down to finch, and back up to steeles
what tiredness & exhaustion + sterss can do to you.
*not fun*

-> finally got York Admissions letter.. which said i gotta schedule some other appointment thing *great*

well after yesterday’s rather unpleasant experience,
came home and started pounding out org studies / compsci
only to leave for dinner at about 5
went down town to some chinese restaurant, which had expensive sea food, and came home
to do my computer program.. which took me 25 min to finish from whence i left, and another hour or two to debug
foudn out i somehow typed the wrong variable
then after finishing my org studise it was 3..
and well physics.. i looked over before sucumbing to sleep

and needless to say i failed my physics — 1st test this year to drop below 50% :
oh wells —

got some work to do tonight studying and writing…. that can wait i guses… wanna rest / relax for some
before i get back into working mode

wells .. don’t really got much to say today…
except its still a cold bleak winter’s day today… whence come my spring ?

1:57 PM
Well that was pretty crashed over…
just got back from Church & Promiseland and boy… today was quite quite the drain.

06:00 - Wake up
07:04 - Art picks me up
07:27 - Ryan Joins
07:44 - Arrive at church
07:50 - begin AV (thanks swirlee!)
11:10 - finish AV
11:15 - enter chaos..

And that brings us into Chaos,
the dreadful, draining, insanity which sets into a class,
and the firm, impaisive frustration, slowly grows within the teacher

and I being that teacher had a quite horrible horrible time
as usual i got ‘dissed’ with really stupid juvenille jokes which don’t make sense
e.g.
Dis - “You’re so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see waht was on teh other side”
Resp - “Well if the glass was opaque you’d have to do that” (not to mention you’d be pretty smart to be able to climb a glass wall
Dis - “You’re so fat you jumped and got stuck”
Resp - “if that were true, then i wouldn’t be able to jump cause the ‘width’ a few feet up would be the same as where i stand”
and so on and so on.. as usual for atleast 15..

After explaining why dissing is all foolishnses, and stupidity, and standing up against a certain individual,
that person threatened to punch me, I stared at him and told him to do it then, if he really intended, and that bluff backfired on me and he threw it, and it hit some chair, then he threw his sock at me.. which i caught and refused to give back to him till after class.
In between that trying to control the class and telling them to to be quiet and to listen… i really got nothing done.

oh and one of them ate 5 packs of sugar… O.o add to teh crazyness :S so ho-wah to all of that.

grr to them… and double grrr to (in my opinion) poor managment of the ministry.
guess theres that final meeting next week where i can throw ideas around.
and what not… *sighs*

just so ugh… one more week — one which i sort of dread no fun.
wells i guess i should quickly send an email to Arthur (by my parents’ advisory) to report on my ‘frustrations’
and then get back to programming some code for the contest question and cramming for my physics test tomorrow.

so very much work… *sighs*
how my awept theme’s suits me so well right now
for the drained, tired, and weary soul…
a tear — in disappointment & shattered dreams
a cry — in frustration
a plea — for hope

looking bleak.
//ever since i started volunteering for this.. sundays have been real drags adn depressing *shucks*