silent vestige
7:04 PM - after sleeping about 12 hours today… my coughing for the most part has stopped, those chronic shatterings of my lungs have ceased to be chained together…. their depth however remains quite deep - when i do cough.. but its more easily standable… sleeping under the influence of opium (codeine — cough medicine) again, and just wow dreams and dreams shattering the skies and mixing reality with imagination… setting me numb when my eyes are open, and with adrenaline when they aren’t…
overall another day gone by, wasted some would say– but recovering, and resting which are more imminent and more beneficial than a day of school, or a day of work… and just a chance to quiet down and wind down from all busyness..
and now to begin anew, to work, to start, to create, to forward in diligent aspect — and forge a new ethic. to reset my priorities to work for God, no more working for myself — no more working for marks, no more working for a scholarship, just giving my best in all situations, all circumstance…. God will be the judge — not my teacher. If i get used, if i get spat on, kicked at, then GOOD. i will know more accurately what my jesus has felt.
my best for jesus.
let spirit fire rain upon me– lighting the darkness within, and shatter the realms of sin.may it blossom and splash against my heart - restoring vestal(pure/chaste) light within.
surviving.