pearbox : undefined

3:27 right now haha just like ye old grade 12 — got my window open, my bedside lamp on, drank lots of liquids and i’m still typing away on the computer… haha gonna be so exhausted tomorrow morning! oh wells for the sake fo sanity i shall blog a bit

basically the reason why i’m still up is cause i took this random little Online Course (VISA 1005) Understanding Digital Arts — its a pretty interesting course… basically what we do is just go online and check out a lecture every week — read the wikipedia articles, and other readings and the ‘lecture’ and go on to answer the few questions on a nice lil phpBB discussion board. And once in the course you’re required to volunteer and write a summary of that particular week’s findings — and since no one volunteered i decide to step up to the plate and try my little bit of *writing* for University — haha first paper that is actually worth anything (2% — insignificant next to the power of the force.. yes i know its kinda stupid to stay up for a lil assignment like that — but going into university i said i’d do my best..) so here we are — after finishing reading my psych at aroudn 1 (watched Amazing Race :p haha gabes/kat that show does so roxors!) i hopped online to see that all 12-13 of my fellow classmates had finally finished posting their stuff so it was my turn to take a crack at what they were writing — and bla bla bla its 3! :p if you’d like a peek at what the course is about you can check out http://www.yorku.ca/gita/visa1005/index.html :p if you’re really bored.

But yah i guess not too much happen today at school — except the usual much needed studying & distractions — got a Linguistics Quiz coming up and i don’t know it very well :S

Other than that — i got my credit card today MasterCard Enrich not much perks on it except i get 1% of whatever cash i spend? what fun — haha pretty nice .. only thing is that its co-signed under my dad which means i don’t build any credit history with it at all :p darn it lol — gotta wait and see if i get the ebay Master Card… maybe.. *hms*

Site news — i got pearbox.net for 5 years… $2.99/year kinda crazy 5 years but i figure hey thats 1 year past university i’ll still have time to do my lil website thing… right? :p

Church News TJCAC.org has been registered for all thos curious lil individuals who have all been wondering what happend to the website :p it wont’ be up for a whilst but hey we got a domain

*yawns* ladi da — its time to sleep — 1 class tomorrow, workout in the afternoon and then CCF yum and then i can come home and sleep at 11 ! a luxury haha *cheers* good night ~

yum! special thanks to AddOne for the good suggestions for replacement earphones (since my snapped on thursday — boo) as you can see i picked up them JVC Gummies, and they’re nice and squishy, a nice pasty soft white that makes you just want to squish them… haha — got rid of my $5 Best Buy Coupon from York Fair… tho… darn i should’ve picked another one up to save more money bla… so far i’ve tried the gummies on my Mixer and my laptop and they’re pretty snugg, a nice cool feeling, soft — and unlike my generic sony ones that i hadoh so long ago :p One thing to note that i found with some surprise was that — the rubber coating over the left year is not quite white… but rather a pasty pink :p so i’m thinking lol Perry is sporting his new JVC white/pink gummies at York with his stylish bulk of a CD player thats 5 years old cell phone heh… i dunno why but that connotes some laughter within me… course thats probably just me and my desire to laugh at things to keep my sanity… heh but yah — Lychee white, many *cheers* for whomever works at JVC’s marketing department — Great Name, thus far Great Product…, and a Great job with the packaging — small compact, secure, yet not too hard to open, beautiful haha and the white matches my windbreaker… and tho white is a nice deviant to Apple’s generic earphones *cheers*

A bit more craze on the white stuff — yes you can probably guess its my favorite ‘color’ by now *flashback* — being called the ‘bak ma wong ji’ lol good ol’ youngster days :p — picked up a nice lil netgear wireless router today — just cause my dad got a wireless card, and the router shorts every now and then… it is quite an exquisite looking thing…

tho the white has apple written all over it — grr i dislike Apple’s hogging of the ‘white’ brandimage — i mean ppl think Apple practically owns white. But yah its a pretty simple router — i haven’t set it up or anything, but that’ll be on the list of things i should get doing this week…. after my bit of work, my $10 psychology test, catching up some linguistics/humanities reading… yum.

quite a bit to do — meanwhilst a bit more on that spending fun… i picked up Twila Paris’s 1996 Album yesterday for $0.89 + shipping its just under $5 — should be fun since its w Stephen Curtis Chapman and a few other artists — got one of my alltime favorite sogns - Faithful Friend oh sappyness lol

As for Sunday School — the whole talk about probability and Miracles and what not… I think i got an insightful answer from when Gary was talking about how he looked at the whole miracle thing. He said that there were two types of statistics — observational — that is what one observes and factual — what actually happens? I guess from this I think it strengthened my view on the whole oh say 2% ppl get healed thing, and if you get healed its ‘not a miracle’ but rather you were just part of that 2%. My view has shifted that if you are healed then God has worked a miracle in Your life — not that you got healed because you were part of that 2% — rather God chooses to heal and hey if its 2% thats his decision, but it doesn’t restrict him — you could very well be in the world of statistics be be the 3rd % or whatever decimail of insignificance but thats all just observing how frequent in a sample of people God will work miracles.

+Chess Metaphor — or simile since we used the word ‘like’ so many times to describe a metaphor in class… was quite ingenious — loved it just cause that is such a romantic game (no not lovey dovey romance) just its the game of intellectuals its bathed in that beautiful perfume — really especially in today’s world who — (other than kids/rabbi’s/retierd people) can really sit down open a board adn play with nice wooden/glass/marble and fine plastic pieces? no one! even fi you get around to playing its online — and thats silliness.

*smiles* but yah lots of insightful stuff in class — i really enjoy it, tho i find that i’m talking too much — quite often talking superficial stuff just to clear the silence… cause i want to keep it moving..

well bla bla bla — having squandered lots of time yesterday its time to pick up and get moving so back to the laborious lifestyle of a university student who has a side job dragging behind him :p

*cheers*

i don’t want to work…, dont’ want to look at my text books or finish the lil project that has been weighing at the back of my mind… kinda ugh…. i want to get an mp3 player… was looking at freeipods.com (which apprently is legit) and realize i need to get my credit card first…. which of course is gonna take a whilst to process… that being the CitiCard i’m supposedly cosigning w/ my dad for petropoints (gas) and for my ebay card that i applied online… hms… stupid musical device…. using my old Sony thing… pretty bulky — want somethign lighter / smaller so it doesn’t always get mashed up when i slide my laptop into my bag… aiy….

i feel kinda sad… loneliness? but to no reason…

was looking at some cell phones — found a cool bell plan for the LG 325 (CDMA tho and w/ Bell >.<) i could get the other ones located at here but then…. i dunno a few of the samsung ones look ok… *shrugs* — plan’s pretty decent, 3 year contract (:\) but basically $20 / mo (+the usual 7.20 service charges & tax) for

so… its pretty good i guess only diff is that right now on rogers its $18 i have unlimited evenings after 8 (which is useless) but no caller id (which is vital i think)… so i’ll probably get this… if i can somehow drop the rogers contract onto someone liek my aunt… for the time being — my phone is messed up right now so i really should get another for now….

phone i really want to get e2800 which i can get off ebay for $325 CDN or so + 30 shipping… aiy.

yes kinda trying to distract myself with my bit of facination of stuff…. what fun…. life feels dry my passion for anything seems to have vanished as one of my favorite analogies — the morning mist has…. i have this yearning inside of me to draw so much closer to God… yet my passion for him has become thin… and perhaps contimanted, dilluted…

aiy… wells i need to discipline myself now and get working i guess… ugh droplets upon droplets…

So i was just finishing my weekly 30 pages of Psychology reading… and wow I love you highschool (Yorkland)!

So far i’ve done the first 3 chapters (about 120 pages) and its been non stop review from highschool
Chapter 1 - History — well i haven’t taken psych before but hey History is History whether it be Canadian, Asian, Psychology, Computers its all the same.

Chapter 2 - Experimental — in essence intro to statistics (except w/o the math) haha lots of skimming since hey if i can do this stuff with the calculator — i definately understand teh concept and how its used.

Chapter 3 - Biology !! wow grade 11 Sciences popping in everywhere, mainly bio — but man so much chemistry flying by too just studying how the ions K, Na and Cl move around, can see the gradient and the charges, voltage and stuff mix together!! selectively permeability, vesicles, haha reminds me of when we were studying that cellular chapter in grade 11 man i loved that stuff! then off to the section about genes, dominant pairs, and all that yumm!! haha seems like Psych won’t be too too intimidating afterall still familiar groudn to build on a bit of disturbingness tho was my weak gut for lifescience things… which i guess bio inevitably goes to.. *shudders* was taking notes on the brain and man a glimpse in my peripheral vision at the picturse and i feel my hand go weak… the inhibators neuron tramsitters signaling… man ! [haha i have no idea how you do it shirley -- i'd be so freaked out if i were in that brain surgery stuff you're in]

so yah haha many cheers to high school i guess prepping me for this course yay — time to have some quiet time and sleep getting late ~

So yes… its been quite a feel days since i’ve intended to blog and most of the stuff i want to talk about is fairly old.. and out of date… but still want to write it down for my own benefit… of getting unloading the many thoughts that are on my mind that have been weighing my subconscious and screaming to be let out. (so that i can forget and write more stuff) so here goes in the order i noted..

dawn
Tuesday last week — I went over to an old friend’s house (Bernic) and met up with Dawn my happy friend from childhood whom i’ve been meeting on average every 2-3 years… last time we met (as stated somewhere on my blog i believe) it was back in 2003, HK just spending the day with their family going sailing, barbeque, taking pictures and the lot of good stuff… of course at the time this was fairly insigificant casue then SARS reared its ugly head… and i’m sure most of you knwo what happened after that. But yeah great time with good friends — you[dawn] are probably off in your prestigious university known as ‘humble’ lil stanford in San Francisco haha *cheers* hope you have lots of fun ~

CCF & Aletheia
Here’s a concern thats been deep within my heart for some time now since school started… right now combined with CCF & Aletheia & church i am spending about 10 hours at church PER week (not including chilling time in CCF office) and thats pretty… intensive… at first… and still sort of think it will work out… well.. that i CAN manage, yet it seems a bit farfetched. I’m wondering do I really need to spend so much time fellowshipping and the sort — since this draws away from family time, studying time, and so on… In a way… it is good since i’ve got so much more exposure to Godly things, Godly people… and just really getting to know new people. I know i haven’t done what many of my wiser friends have [Kat && Gabes] — and that is look more about me and explore my options… and in a way i feel foolish for that… yet I feel that God has placed me there and has blessed me immensly. I don’t know — I usually feel really at home at CCF, met Alvin [the Adwin look-alike], Olivia, Nick, ‘accupuncture-ray’, ‘volleyball-ray’, Stella, Caleb, Kevin [Kevvie-poo as Adwin calls him]… thus far being in CCF has opened up different chances to talk to several people about God, namely Paula today who’s in cognitive science and is still seeking despite her religious pentecostal background… I dunno its fairly hard to decide — Aletheia its where my home is, its where comfort is, its got its rockety patches, the areas of it which annoy me and i’d destroy and burn to black char if i could… but y’know commitments, and home. There’s lots i disagree and don’t like about it… but that doesn’t mean i drop it at teh first possibile chance i get… like Kat said i guess.. prayer prayer…. ironic cause all this busyness has really taken the prayer out of my life… its more attend lectures - read text books and repeat over and over…. ‘what can i do if i don’t have you jesus?’

Gossip
continuing from the fiery anger… i wonder if any gossiping ppl might be reading my blog… if you are… then i ask that you bear with me in my sharing of my displeasure [not that you really should be trying to please me anyways]… just argh! I hate gossip! it is the most hypocritical, unloving, slap in the face the church can give to anyone — its a powerful set of staves that go beyond on cliques and all social-political boundaries in Church… it is downright annoying and I HATE IT. [note i don't really hate you whomever you are even if you do it]

I was talking to Essie[Esther] the other day and just about life and how i find so much… ‘whispery this whispery that’ i’m like wow… i didn’t think our church had such circles of hate within it… sure it probably wasn’t meant out of hate but the repercussions and damage is done and those whom lie underneath this weight of stretched assumptions just fall into a pitiful storm of dust. Its really annoying to me i guess — tho i know most of it is simple careless talk thats fun to giggle about… just i am a bit taken back — since in my years at Jaffray from lil quiet introvert, to breaking past my social shell and serving in the various areas.. I didn’t see this type of thing — so yah i’m the guy who is a ’social loser’ the quiet dude in the corner who doesn’t really talk much to anyone except to his select friends.. perhaps i’m naive — and thought my church different to those that i couldn’t really see myself calling Home. perhaps this, perhaps that… either way — it disappoints me, though its long past…. and i don’t really care much anymore– much like the ‘harmless’ dew in the twilight…. that feeds the grass of conversation…. yet little know the polutants that hung as morning tears.

So yes — my site is temporary gone back to under construction as you can see (most links aren’t really working) just some minor fixies i’ll be doing in the coming whilst — no worries it’ll be back soon enough [just got to find time]

Aletheia sleep over… was kind of fun, i guess the guys watched 4 hours of movies and i did 1 hour teaching Essie data management and chatting about university with stephen/sherms.. then i spent another 2 or so studying linguistics… and an hour pulling up pictures and fixing up the powerpoint for sunday…3 we went out to some dim sum place @ brimley / sheppard — and gluttonized over lots of dimsum ($137)… kind of sad i felt when i reflected the psychological image of it… peer pressure was laid down, social decency turned from etiquette to a ikon of ‘wussyness’ or ‘unmanliness’, rudeness was the code popularity in ways… it was fun i guess — i didn’t absolutely stuff myself… tho my metabolism has been sorta working overdrive — so i need to moderate some — i sometimes wonder when i’m actually full…. bla. went back to church… and did a bit of ppt and just slept… woke up having my body absorbed much too much of the water that was in teh air… bleh…

Happy Birthday Karmel — day following went over to Pickle Barrel & Karmel’s house to celebrate her birthday *cheers* Happy birthday Karmel! — wow i am so impressed artwork! and 2 years of mandarin stuff— how i look at my own petty art and ponder its insigifnicance… but thanks for the invitation and the hospitality
hms… i guess amidst stress and this new week i’m going to have to really improve my time surrendering… seriously there is huge amounts of work… and so little time — and truly impossible without Jesus. exams in 2 weeks — psych 4 chapters, got 2 papers that i know of and i think a few quizzes.. yikes.

time to be still and listen to the voice of God.

almost 4 right now… and i am just purely exhausted… came back not too long ago from this Basic Life Seminiar thing and it was pretty interesting i guess… the principles and stuff that i had heard 3 years ago… just sitting in front of a projector screen and watchign the guy speak for like 6 hours… and more (if i hadn’t hopped away)…

hms — too exhausted i really need to sleep
i’ll blog later
>dawn
>weekend & busy-ness
>CCF / Aletheia
>gossip
>wireless
>site (temporarly disabled for the most part)

since i’m not gonna be blogging for a whilst..
>Aletheia Sleepover
>karmel’s thing
>monopod
>stress

and a whilst…
>sleep screws me over…
~

University is utterly exhausting! ahhh ~

so yes, i guess you’ve most probably noticed that i haven’t really been blogging this past while… yet many cheers to the few of you who have been faithfully coming to my site (to register 20 or 27 hits everyday) compels me to type a lil something every now and then heh..

but yah — i guess my main reason for not posting this past while was weekend i was utterly exhausted and decided to take a mental sabbatical and let my mind rest on the soft, yet squandering lifestyle of food(yummm!)/drink(non-alcoholic)/books(lots of them)/television(haha fun).

then come the last few days reality hit and there was just way way too much reading that i realized i have neglected to do lol — yes *SCREWED* rofl. but yah… as of today i’ve caught up (superficially) with what i need to do… that being i’ve read accumultively 100 or so pages… but only have notes for about 15…. haha crap :p

yeah… i really dunno, i’ve got to somehow catchup and balance everything its really getting pretty impossible — i wanted to apply for this scholarship thats due on the 15th (friday ahh) but i dunno if i can manage it — gotta give at least 2 hours to the website thing, the evening to Aletheia and every other hour to studying… and studying’s counterpart — rest/distraction/casual reading (just so i don’t burn out and die!)

so far…
Psychology has been fairly interesting except its a massive read… first chapter being ‘the history of psychology’ and the second being ’statistics or data management 12′ all over again…

Linguistics its new, fun, but a bit intimidating what w/ all that stuff about the body… not as scary thus far.. but still a bit uncomfortable haha mouth stuff :p

Visual Arts — i haven’t begun yet *gulp* gotta do that tomorrow.

South East Asia culture & society — 10 whopping chapters ahhh!

Writing - dormant and happily so
so yeah…. tomorrow i have class around lunch time so i guess i’ll just go early and read my 10 chapters beforehand…

Thursday Evening - I’ll perhaps give myself a break
then Friday — Psych i gotta read & renote & read ahead
Weekend - Linguistics Hwk (aiya) and really get to learn everything all the lil symbols the parts of the mouth, the adjectives (labials - lips etc..) and of course throw in some of that visual arts stuff somewhere…. yikes. guess i’m not gonna bring my laptop tomororw…
but yah — for ppl w/ cell phones & laptops - sending text msgs rox (via the web of course we’re cheap!):D

oh and went to YCCF again tonight pretty kwlz some more icebreaker games, perhaps not as ‘tuned’ as the last program, but hey things are still settling the new number of people, new committee and all of th at… i really love YCCF tho tho i’m such a fool, and immature lil child — it gives shelter, love, and home. *smiles*

i wish… i wish… i weren’t such a cloud.

so yes.. School has started.. and after tomorrow I’ve had attended every lecture (save my online visual arts one) and Reality hits.

right now its 10:20 or so at night, and i have to read another 46 pages and note it before i go to sleep… no homework but lots of reading haha *smiles* University Life — its beautifully magnificant, but hey its HardWork!

reading linguistics right now… its pretty interesting stuff… not sure english majors would really like it tho… its got bio / math written all over it… as for language itself its sorta totally against the flow of english which is prescriptive (set rules - to whats ‘right’ and ‘wrong’)… instead you look past that (not ignoring) but just look at the sounds themselves structures of everything…

Its a pretty interesting course… right now i’m still getting the hang of it… not sure how well i’ll do since as far as academics go its still new grounds for both successes and failures. Subject is cool though right now we’re transcribing sounds into phonetic alphabet… i’d type some here but i’m not on my laptop :\ bleh..

so… yeah… got quite a bit to do tonight — probably won’t get to blog so here’s my bit of write for tonight. fun fun ~

Sleep is a charming seductress

so yesterday i got an email from bursry at yorku.ca saying:

Student Financial Services is pleased to inform you that your Queen Elizabeth II Aiming for the Top Scholarship for FW05 has now been posted. You can now view it on your My Student Account on the Current Students page of the York University website.

and i was like :O when did i apply for this? i remember applying for general York stuff… so i hop over to the YorkU site and it times out from excessive lag tiems… i get in once and see no difference to my balance.. so whatever la… then that scholarship for OSAP that i remember handing in a few days or so AFTER comes to mind…

heh, so this morning i went over to the OSAP site and find out i got a scholarship for $100 yay lol 87% not as much as shirley and your $3500 ! :O but hehes God rewards us each seperately hehes and hey its ‘free money’ haha thank you God! *hugs*

On the topic of scholarships a thought that came to mind yesterday was that… i haven’t really given God any bit of that yet… i’ve given stuff for work, but Scholarships… that definately counts right? hm… just a casual thought –

so yah… friday– the weekend began last night… and i’m just here still poking at my annoying lil laptop… kinda relaxed — gotta read my linguistics book again sometime today… but i guess inside of me i kinda feel really dry cause my desire to spend time with God is wanning again — sorta just pick up my Bible and pray… and listen but then so many things just come all at once — different worries about school, things i have to do and what not… sorta not in the ‘want to read the bible stage’ mehs… i’ll try later today i guess once i get a few things out of the way…

oh wells Aletheia tonight probably won’t eat at the bbq cause theres yum yum tomorow — bla gotta go finish some work lates ~