many days later..
So yes… its been quite a feel days since i’ve intended to blog and most of the stuff i want to talk about is fairly old.. and out of date… but still want to write it down for my own benefit… of getting unloading the many thoughts that are on my mind that have been weighing my subconscious and screaming to be let out. (so that i can forget and write more stuff) so here goes in the order i noted..
dawn
Tuesday last week — I went over to an old friend’s house (Bernic) and met up with Dawn my happy friend from childhood whom i’ve been meeting on average every 2-3 years… last time we met (as stated somewhere on my blog i believe) it was back in 2003, HK just spending the day with their family going sailing, barbeque, taking pictures and the lot of good stuff… of course at the time this was fairly insigificant casue then SARS reared its ugly head… and i’m sure most of you knwo what happened after that. But yeah great time with good friends — you[dawn] are probably off in your prestigious university known as ‘humble’ lil stanford in San Francisco haha *cheers* hope you have lots of fun ~
CCF & Aletheia
Here’s a concern thats been deep within my heart for some time now since school started… right now combined with CCF & Aletheia & church i am spending about 10 hours at church PER week (not including chilling time in CCF office) and thats pretty… intensive… at first… and still sort of think it will work out… well.. that i CAN manage, yet it seems a bit farfetched. I’m wondering do I really need to spend so much time fellowshipping and the sort — since this draws away from family time, studying time, and so on… In a way… it is good since i’ve got so much more exposure to Godly things, Godly people… and just really getting to know new people. I know i haven’t done what many of my wiser friends have [Kat && Gabes] — and that is look more about me and explore my options… and in a way i feel foolish for that… yet I feel that God has placed me there and has blessed me immensly. I don’t know — I usually feel really at home at CCF, met Alvin [the Adwin look-alike], Olivia, Nick, ‘accupuncture-ray’, ‘volleyball-ray’, Stella, Caleb, Kevin [Kevvie-poo as Adwin calls him]… thus far being in CCF has opened up different chances to talk to several people about God, namely Paula today who’s in cognitive science and is still seeking despite her religious pentecostal background… I dunno its fairly hard to decide — Aletheia its where my home is, its where comfort is, its got its rockety patches, the areas of it which annoy me and i’d destroy and burn to black char if i could… but y’know commitments, and home. There’s lots i disagree and don’t like about it… but that doesn’t mean i drop it at teh first possibile chance i get… like Kat said i guess.. prayer prayer…. ironic cause all this busyness has really taken the prayer out of my life… its more attend lectures - read text books and repeat over and over…. ‘what can i do if i don’t have you jesus?’
Gossip
continuing from the fiery anger… i wonder if any gossiping ppl might be reading my blog… if you are… then i ask that you bear with me in my sharing of my displeasure [not that you really should be trying to please me anyways]… just argh! I hate gossip! it is the most hypocritical, unloving, slap in the face the church can give to anyone — its a powerful set of staves that go beyond on cliques and all social-political boundaries in Church… it is downright annoying and I HATE IT. [note i don't really hate you whomever you are even if you do it]
I was talking to Essie[Esther] the other day and just about life and how i find so much… ‘whispery this whispery that’ i’m like wow… i didn’t think our church had such circles of hate within it… sure it probably wasn’t meant out of hate but the repercussions and damage is done and those whom lie underneath this weight of stretched assumptions just fall into a pitiful storm of dust. Its really annoying to me i guess — tho i know most of it is simple careless talk thats fun to giggle about… just i am a bit taken back — since in my years at Jaffray from lil quiet introvert, to breaking past my social shell and serving in the various areas.. I didn’t see this type of thing — so yah i’m the guy who is a ’social loser’ the quiet dude in the corner who doesn’t really talk much to anyone except to his select friends.. perhaps i’m naive — and thought my church different to those that i couldn’t really see myself calling Home. perhaps this, perhaps that… either way — it disappoints me, though its long past…. and i don’t really care much anymore– much like the ‘harmless’ dew in the twilight…. that feeds the grass of conversation…. yet little know the polutants that hung as morning tears.
So yes — my site is temporary gone back to under construction as you can see (most links aren’t really working) just some minor fixies i’ll be doing in the coming whilst — no worries it’ll be back soon enough [just got to find time]
Aletheia sleep over… was kind of fun, i guess the guys watched 4 hours of movies and i did 1 hour teaching Essie data management and chatting about university with stephen/sherms.. then i spent another 2 or so studying linguistics… and an hour pulling up pictures and fixing up the powerpoint for sunday…3 we went out to some dim sum place @ brimley / sheppard — and gluttonized over lots of dimsum ($137)… kind of sad i felt when i reflected the psychological image of it… peer pressure was laid down, social decency turned from etiquette to a ikon of ‘wussyness’ or ‘unmanliness’, rudeness was the code popularity in ways… it was fun i guess — i didn’t absolutely stuff myself… tho my metabolism has been sorta working overdrive — so i need to moderate some — i sometimes wonder when i’m actually full…. bla. went back to church… and did a bit of ppt and just slept… woke up having my body absorbed much too much of the water that was in teh air… bleh…
Happy Birthday Karmel — day following went over to Pickle Barrel & Karmel’s house to celebrate her birthday 
*cheers* Happy birthday Karmel! — wow i am so impressed artwork! and 2 years of mandarin stuff— how i look at my own petty art and ponder its insigifnicance… but thanks for the invitation and the hospitality
hms… i guess amidst stress and this new week i’m going to have to really improve my time surrendering… seriously there is huge amounts of work… and so little time — and truly impossible without Jesus. exams in 2 weeks — psych 4 chapters, got 2 papers that i know of and i think a few quizzes.. yikes.
time to be still and listen to the voice of God.