pearbox : undefined

yes due to the lack of a better title… i’ll just have to settle with more redundancy… but hey Second day at my *beloved* York University lol — and what a long day it was.

Originally i had planned to sleep in to around 9-10 (catch up on much needed sleep) since my class started at 12:30… of course at the early hours of the morning the sky decided to rain down on lil Markham and my mom summoned me from my really deep groggy sleep and said she’d drive me so i don’t have to walk (awwww thanks mom!) so we left the house at 8:00 and got to STC at 8:30 cause of extrenuous amounts of traffic >.< and construction.. having gotten there i hopped over to the Go Train stop and still groggily awaited the pretty white & green bus that would quickly speed me to York in a span of 30 minutes… i waited… and waited… and 30 minutes later it came like what? lol i should’ve been there by then! darn it! mehs i had time to burn so whatever got on the bus and slept….

upon getting to York i just hung out at the YCCF office and tried to get a few more people… still somewhat ignorant to most everyone’s names… but added with the few from yesterday i know a fare amount i guess
12:00 comes around and i hop out to go to my lab early… and meet ppl… only to find a big white piece of paper slapped onto the door of SR403 (Ross South Tower 4th floor) that labs for Huma 1400/1410 have all been cancelled for this week… darn it! *back to the CCF Office…. chatted w/ Stella and then played some euchre with vince/becky/ someone i forgot (darn it)… then off to psych where i met Sarah — my first muslim friend i think — really nice person
3 hours roll by fairly quickly — and out i go… and to my horror find the Steeles East bus really really long it literally made a Z shape from the bus stop all the way to York Lanes’ (the Mall) entrance… 2 busses came by and i was still inline… bus finally comes and on i go…. feeling exhausted now i sleep.. wake up around 6:25 and :O we’re still at Bathurst (2 intersections from Keele) a bit more dozing off finally get past the traffic…. and got to brimley at aroun 7:25 or so? take my usual 20 minute walk up brimley and got home at 7:45 yay!
yes…. really really long day jsut for a 3 hour lecture *aiy*

+oh yah Fellowship Last Night was awesome even though i knew really lil ppl there was that warmth that sense of community there Met up with Celine again, and Kevin (Adwin’s cousin! yayy!!!) and lol Alvin who is like a replica of Adwin !!! He looks just like him!! his smile, his laugh, haha the exprsesions everything like oh my goodness!! hahaha — yes adwin me & kev were laughing about it the whole night — you gotta meet him man! only diff was like isntead of balck glasses and black hair he had brown glasses of the similar shape, and dyed brownish hair! lol

I guess what i found really really intriguing at CCF was that it combined that great relational, commune warmth that Hosanna has been known to provide, and then with this year’s focus combined with the older more mature people, its sorta like the mature focused and more discipleship geared fellowship Aletheia provides.

*smiles* yeah — i so fully adore the ppls at YCCF haha they’re nice! They’re Like Jesus to me! (minus the being God, being the Saviour of my sins, all powerful, all knowing etcetera etcetera…) lol y’know what i mean
oooh and special thanks to Olivia yet again for lending me the Psych book stuff and wow Study Guide! going the Extra Mile Thanks!!!
also special thanks to Becky for letting me borrow/buy? your South East Asia studies books — hope you can find them

yay and double yay! cause there’s no school tomorrow
The one thing i so fully adore about University Right now, is that when i get home each night even tho it might be really late like last night (11:20 or so) i don’t have to worry about doing lots of homework and stuff — jsut gotta manage my time and get all my readings and stuff done
ooh YUM YUM bbq saturday

wells today was the first day of school, university and all haha lots of fun Wednesday so i only had 1 lecture on my program and then i was free to go do whatever i want… but since there’s CCF i’m stil here at 4:27 right now typing away in the quietness of the third floor of the York Library. haha fun.

Today’s lecture was pretty fun & interesting i guess, well overtly humourous. Linguistics was the class, and the professor was pretty nice, open, witty, funny it was pretty funny cause he was new to the new Vari Hall ‘tech filled lecture halls’ so he couldn’t setup the powerpoint and we had lots of problems w/ the lighting turning off to powersave mode cause he didn’t configure the computer or something — haha lots of fun. Linguistics is the study of languages… and according to linguistics there is no such thing as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ grammar - any sentence is grammatical as long as an adult native speaker of that languages speaks it — e.g. it is recognized as by society hehes pretty interesting,.. next week we’re learning something about all that linguistics symbols and sounds and things– so that should be pretty interesting haha cute is /kjut/ yumms.!

After the lecture just went over to the lil room in curtis religious center or something… found the YCCF room which is pretty cozy and all — i should bring my camera and snap some pictures after everything settle down… but its really nice a bit messy perhaps but hey its fully loaded with a microwave, library, coffeemaker, tv, soon to be gone snes, and best of all wireless internet from the library yay!

yes lots of fun — also picked up my linguistics textbook from Ashley today (random student i found on the internet) so i guess for all you university ppls — a good way to save big bucks is to go to your university bookstore website and there should be some sort of classifieds for books — type in ISBN#/title and it’ll give you the list of ppl who have the book and their emails, then just drop them a line, give cell phone #, meet somewhere exchance cash for goods. done. So that saved me a good $30-40 off getting a new one and about $20 off the used… so not bad pretty good condition too! Thanks Joeie of CCF for the tip way back during froshconnections. !
+i’m pretty sure they have this at most universities (i know UofT does)

so yes… 4:37 now — gonna head out in about 30 minutes…get a biscuit from popeyes or something, go to Pond Res, find alison and her friend and go to CCF, Pho tonight yummies! and with the additional of extra twang cause its at Keele & Finch haha hope i don’t get shot
Minor Reflection of York — i really really like the environment and everything…. the whole idea of an university intrigues me, a center for academics lol nerd! And the CCF is just really warm tho i don’t know anyone really well yet — i know Olivia (you’re so super!), Chung Ling, Ray & Ray, Nick and a few others i haven’t fully attached faces & names to yet… seems to be quite big which is pleasant i guess hehehe, People are pretty nice not too hard to make friends, except since its all lecture based classmates are kinda hard to meet — good to go to your classes early sit near the door and talk to ppl in the program exchange numbers the casual chatter… and then when it opens to go grab front seat *smiles* so far i’m really enjoying it… of course i haven’t really had a real classs yet — tomorrow we’ll see Psych for 3 hours straight haha yumm!!

Wells i’ll be off nows until perhaps tonight.
special cheers to everyone living on res — miss you lots. ~

Wells, I’ll be writing in retrospect since today is ‘tomorrow’ — so a bit of bias and a bit less on detail… but bla whatever

“Sin does not demonize a person, condemnation does.”
I guess this lil quote came up from the depths of my intuitive lil mind when my friend from school was telling me how Frosh week was scary and talked about ppl having sex and all this stuff negative connotated stuff… for me.. i guess the lil quote just reminded me about Jesus.. i mean coming into University now.. after Yorkland that sheltered lil school… theres lots of changes and really it would be pretty intimidating… i mean this is like a great push into the secular world… not the real ‘work world’ but still… i guess its pretty intense… and i guess as a Christian its really easy to just go the extreme way and play the judge and be like ‘ahh its so evil i want nothing to do with it AND the people’ sure its good to stay far away from sin & temptation yet at the same time… what hits me is if jesus went to university he would embrace these people … Church really overplays the ‘evilness’ of university i guess… lots of demonization (the media def’n)… but yah just gotta go to university with an open mind / heart — cause else i’ll easily sink into becoming like a pharisee and be more of an agent of evil, a demon, than the people around me

So yah today went to York, and just checked out where all my classes are… got York maped out pretty clearly… even tho its really big i think i’ll be fine walked like crazy today… and my feet hurt and all but bla….

someone i really want to appreciate today is Alison (Koh), I know how she’s pretty scared about University and everything and got jostled up from froshweek… but she was still really open and kind hearted — got really inspired when we were waiting for Jon outside Pond, and some lady in the background was struggling to move stuff into the building and she openly went to help haha in addition to that– thanks a bunch for the fruitopia.. haha i am so *jealous* since you got into the program i wanted, got the residence i wanted, and got into mandarin class lol lucky :p

After school i went to the orthodentist doctor person… yes i’m getting braces… next month O.o, just went over some administrative stuff… and found out i have 2 wisdom teeth on the right side… that have a high chance of needing to be pulled out later… darn it :p *fear*

In the evening i had a pretty kwlz convo w/ Alison (chan) about school, university and all of that– *smiles* kinda funny and i guess really inspiring — haha thanks Alison, really brought back an element of ‘humanity’ to church for me…. since everythings been so task driveness not much i guess in depth

haha how ironic… after a month or so of gentoo and tweaking lots and lots of it… i’ve decided to revert to gentoo… why? cause school is on wednesday and i the cpu scaling didn’t quite want to cooperate… so i guess its good bye gentoo for now.. and back on ubuntu
looking back on gentoo — i really fell in love with this distro it is seriously some seriously good stuff! learned so much, fell in love with command line and lots of fun stuff..
mehs — rest assured when i get a real desktop comptuer i’ll revisit gentoo

Wells looking at the statistics today and i found it kind of humourous… since the opening of this site the search engine keywords that have brought ppl here are as follows:

cruifixion pics
poem on microgravity
tiberland
agincourt swimming pool
ordinary day vanessa carlton waves
name a few simile
korean novelty tshirts

heh kinda funny.
Unique Visits has been gradually growing

May - ~48 (launch - & subdomain problem only registered some)
June - 165
July - 179
Aug - 225
Sep - 52 (5th)

some random fun-ness i guess — didn’t really know so many ppl came to my lil site, makes me wonder if i should keep typing my journal on public mode and everything… course then again if i didn’t that’d sorta defeat the purpose of this blog being a glimpse into my life — transparent to the utmost point i can allow it..

oh wells *cheers* special thankyous to my faithful blog readers

hms.. so kinda awake from my day long sabbatical just escaping reality and watching some lecture on “Balzac and the Little Seamstress” and an episold of scrubs before finally sleeping…. quite a bit of tv all at once… that i haven’t had the whole summer… funness i guess — and just pure exhaustion that i feel today… bleh…

the lecture on the book (Balzac and the Little Seamstress) was really cools tho — talked about china and communism, the cultural revolution and sotialism and all that reform that happened merely 10 years before my existance… i guess by the numbers it seems so recent… really captivating — i guess i’m gonna be really enjoying my humanities class on that topic
but yah… yesterday night my dad announced that the Canon laser printer we’ve had for the last 10 or so plus years again ran out of ink… and he was considering buying an ew printer since theres a konica one for $79.99… and if the black toner costs $50… it wasn’t that big of a deal to deck out the extra $25 for a newer i guess more up to date printer… and of course if we were to buy a new printer why not spend a bit more and get a laser colour printer? haha yes i know the average price is like a difference of like $300 or so… tho my dad spotted this other thing by Konica Minolta — the 2400w Colour Laser Printer its really cheap… and i guess not the absolute best in quality… but it’d be a lot better than forking over $50 on an inkjet that will die and clog up in half a year or so due to infrequent use…. the only problem? its a model ending with a W… MEANING its a winPrinter — for those of you unfamiliar with that… its basically why most of your PCI internal modems are like $10-$20 or so cheaper than your external modems of the same or lesser specs… basiacally it relies on windows to function… for the most part this isn’t too bad… EXCEPT the system requirements require 333 mhz… AND windows inorder to print… this meaning the only computer that can print in the whole house is my sluggish lil pearbox on this computer. Moreover… i can’t fully convert this box to Linux… which i guess I’m fine with… since i have my laptop now…. still a bit of annoyance… stupid windows why must you put a grip on EVERYTHING ? — blah whether we get the printer or not… thats all to be seen in the near future (before school starts hopefully)

anyways — back off to work for me i guess… a long day of rest earns me nothing but a night full of stressing work… aiy.

yah… don’t really want to do anythign right now… kinda downed by the greyish clouds that hang between teh vast blue sky above… and me sitting at my computer right now…

hope you guys who are leaving — gabes/fishball/swirlee are alright and doing well
on other news.. i feel like an idiot cause i saw the $1.99/year (up to 5 years!) thing off yahoo… like 2 days ago and didn’t read up on it… and now its back up to $10 darn it !

That overwhelming feeling of just lying on your bed staring at the ceiling and the 4 purple walls that surround you. The sorrow of knowing that all those past years.. those thousands of times you’ve spent with this or that particular friend is just about to simmer to a temporary close as they part and leave for life in another part of the world… kind of sad — and though physically my eyes can’t cry or express much emotion… my soul seems to bleed a few tears… the desire to want to see them off, to somehow- in some way - express the gratitude and high esteem that i have for them… This is the first night and man… i feel so lost already — *sighs* University you are such a cruel bedfellow.. i guess its part of life…. rather painful but nevertheless necessary…

Its just as i lay down and thought back… there’s so many memories… but whats more important is the depth of friendship i have with these people… the depth of LOVE i’ve grown for these friends of mine.. *tear*

tomorrow morning.. i guess Johnny shall be one of the first ones out of my dual circle of friends to leave… and part, and leave this state we know as home… man— gonna miss you so much, even though our friendship didn’t quite spark to full magnitude till the second half of the year… got so many memories… ranging from when we first sorta began to be friends — and lanrick, grade 8 when you had hair as long as carrie’s, last year just talking about some bible stuff & relationship stuff… coming this year being my accountability/prayer partner & best friend… man I so very love ya ~ don’t know what i’m gonna do w/o you man.. tho i guess when you’re off to Queens, you’re still available with the beauties of technology — msn / email gtalk, skype webcams– haha, still i guess its not quite the same. best of luck eh? i’ll be praying for ya everyday — remember all the stuff we’ve talked about i guess… you’ll be fine i’m sure haha when you come back lets go out for a drink or something ~ *cheers*

next to leave… Shirley — again tomorrow in the morning i believe.. ha — if cheerfulness & optimism was personified it’d be in you. Just wanted to thank you lots (yet again) for all the help you’ve been in the past few years… haha i won’t mention all of them since that’d just be overly repetitious– but you have been a great help and i don’t think i’d have managed a lot of them things at Hosanna if you weren’t there… the always supportive friend who worked behind the scenes with your creative insight — always there reliable and trust worthy… *smiles* of course i can’t fail to mention the bountiful amounts of support you’ve given to me as a friend — i guess during school encouraging me when all writing turned to bleak ugliness and i lost passion to write, helping me w/ your higher learned english and i guess just all those fun times discussing about various fun related things — haha thanks shirley — i really hope Western treats you well - and you’ll thrive in that environment, be it surgery lifesci or english/linguistics best of luck on that!

Later in the day — afternoon i believe … Gabes *sighs* gonna miss you lots.. just looking back for the last 10 years… just seeing you every step of the way supporting me — my lil introvertive person taken under your wing… you’ve always been welcoming when i was slow on the uptake or a bit too quiet to participate, you always extended your friendship yet did not barge in when i wanted to try to do my own thing… you were there to defend me when i was vulnerable and lost at the attacker’s wit. you were there to get me into so many things — that big brother who looks over this fool of a kid… *sighs* so undeserving i am… when i think of all the times i’ve wronged you and hurt you… i remember when i thought i could’ve picked you up for some meeting or something and sort of miscommunicated stuff and then i think it might have mixed up some angst between your dad, i remember hockey when i hit in in the mouth with my stick >.<, i remeber when i out of stupidity turned on you as a friend with stupid petty remarks & jokes *sniffs* you’ve been so good to me… and i so undeserving… this friendship. I am such a fool y’know — i wonder why you love me as you do. sorry Gabes… but still… thank you you’re too good to me. yah… really gonna miss you when we partways you to MacMaster and I to York — hope & wish the best for you… ah.. thanks.

*breathes out* i guess i’m feeling sort of at loss right now… there’s subconsious worries i still want to clarify and make right… yet at the same time — i wonder do they really exist? or is it just a mental stretch and exageration? i don’t know… she’s a friend and thats it really… then why all this ‘crazyness’ ? i don’t know… i am so confused…

but i guess i can’t really do much about that situation for another bit… right now i just really miss my friends… not to indulge in this sentimental emotion, just i think the emphasis & love i’ve grown to build on these friendships are so dear to me… that i wouldn’t trade the world for them… *sighs*

farewell thens –
‘true friendship transcends all time, distance, and location, it surpasses all circumstance, all events past, and dreams to come — it is love and to its very core it holds on beyond every context’

Music - Tammy & Tony from NTCAC
Music & Vocals Johnny ‘fishball’ Siu.

Translated into English by Johnny, semi-Edited by Perry
In one’s life.. there’s all this saddness
very ‘mo loi’ in the dark, never knew that love is that ez to get
how to get out of here, and wipe my tears
spreading my wings in the sky
i am flying with my spreaded wings
can never foget God’s love
in the heavy rain, we have God, He given me new hope
it’s God that helps me in my challenges
going forward and see, i can never stop with God
believing that God is not simple
looking forward on the road
throwing away my worries
for those who are losing themselves
God is love, he gives us a life of sacrafice
going forward, me and God cannot stop
now thinking.. we cannot pay for the cross
looking @ the road, throwing out all the worries
nothing to fear
God helps me to build my life

WMA(full song - music & lyrics) -
WMA(music only - electric) - EM.wma

thanks johnny !! this song is marvelous — i wish i could fully understand the chinese lyrics… to get the full depth of meaning…
i am such a fool — yet God is the pillar of strength which sustains me… and keeps me from totally dying and losing everything — that i so deserve… my imperfections, vanity and weakness… that is al i am — a broken vessel — without God…

a frozen rose, a statuette, in the sunlight.
dripping with frost bitten tears..
lost to confusion; winter’s chilled ambiguity
melting in anxiety’s unsteady state.
and unraveling from dreams of despair.
a desire for friendship,
no more, no less.
just truth and sincerity.