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hms… I don’t know but i just can’t get this message thing out of my head… this Truth that God has revealed in my life, and has just put in my heart a desire to share and just tell people… I don’t know why, but i just feel this deep internal sadness, heartbreak really when i share and people shrug it off. I know its not my place to change people’s hearts or open their eyes to this revelation, but man — i inside i feel so strongly this sadness.. perhaps i’m totally wrong and totally off but this is what God is saying to me, and this is what i will write.

Scripture Reading: Romans 1:16-17 NKJV
The Just Live by Faith
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.”

My “Holy Discontentment” is this –
Most of us live our ‘christian lives’ digitally (that is split off into chunks), we’re caught up in this trend of doing doing doing and we fail to address what is most important, and what is the essence of our faith — a relationship with the Father, the Son, and the Spirit.

Yes - we love God, and we do all these things for Him yet we totally miss the point.

References
Read 1 Samuel 15
Story of Saul & Samuel - Sacrifice vs Obedience.
*verse 22* - But Samuel replied:”Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”

Read Luke 10:38-42
Story of Mary & Martha - Service vs Listening
*verse 39* - “She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ”


Analogy
There’s this boy and this girl who are really in love. The boy, in love, naturally seeks out to do everything he can for his beloved. He hurries to hold doors, carry the girl’s books, brings an umbrella when it rains, and buy all these crazy exotic things for her. He’ is just so motivated by his love to do all these ‘great things’ for the girl. So here we are, the boy motivated by his love keeps doing all these different things. The girl see’s this and is touched, but all she wants is to have a relationship with this boy — so she tries to stop him saying “no its ok… i just want to –” the boy says “ok! i’ll do that” and rushes off to do something… leaving the girl trailing off “…talk..” the boy returns yet again with another artifact, the girl looks at the odd looking mushroom ‘if he’d just get me a flower’…

many times — just like the boy we get so caught up into doing this and that and we just totally miss the point. We get stuck on the whole ‘doing’ that we totally miss out that the one we love and are doing all these things for doesn’t really want this — He wants to have a relationship with us, and desires for us to do certain things — that he calls us to…. not to run around and try to do everything.

key: obedience.

When we believe in Jesus, when we become ‘Christians’ what does that mean really? I mean think about — compared to the next person on campus / school who is either a non-Christian, a muslim, or member of some other faith? What’s different about you? You go to church, serve on worship team, ushering, AV, participate in drama, go to fellowship, we do all these ‘christian’ things. and thats like fridays / sundays. but what about every other day? what sets us a part? ‘christian morals’ abstinance from premarital sex/drugs/drunkenness/swearing? hey people from all religions have those morals — so whats the difference really?

That we are dead to sin/ourselves and alive in Christ (Romans 6:10-12) and we can have a direct relationship with God.
but everyone who’s gone to sunday school knows that so what?

key: we are alive in the Christ/The Holy Spirit
That means we live with the Spirit.

The essence of that is — *life*

*Simple Fact* Life is analogue not digital. It isn’t cut off into small segments where we can “put off living” and pick it up after a while. Once you’re conceived, you are in essence ‘birthed’ into existance, Life, and life starts from that point and continues to your death, and to eternity which is timeless.

So then — what does that mean when we say we are alive in Jesus? What does it mean that we surrender our lives to God?
Does it not incorporate every second, every moment of time?
*It does!*

Then theology hits with reality and we ask — Why don’t i sense him all the time?

Looking into the Bible — throughout the Bible, God is always seeking a relationship with His people, Yes at times he hides himself, but that is only to build the relationship — that we can know and understand that he is with us despite the ‘physical reality’

*So then whats wrong?*

I feel a strong burden/urgency in my heart — and that is as christians we get caught up into doing all this stuff — and the rest of our lives become void of this passion cause we don’t feel God elsewhere, we don’t sense him — we aren’t *conscious* of his presence. He’s there — we know that in our minds, we just aren’t *actively* seeking Him and his will.

As Christians we are caught up into all this doing.
But God *doesn’t* want you to do all this stuff. He *doesn’t* want you to give all your time/money/heart into serving Him.

*NO* That’s not where His heart is — His heart is on us — he wants a *relationship* with us.

Our actions of service are merely the fruits(results) / vehicles(expressions) of our affection/responce to Him.

And for the most part — we’ve got that all wrong. We think that by doing all this stuff we can get close to Him. Furthermore, our service dries up — as it is unannointed, and our passion quickly resides… leaving a dry and empty action.

In light of everything that’s been happening in my life, I feel that the Spirit is really just putting this message on my heart — cause we *know* in our minds that Jesus doesn’t want lukewarm/sunday&friday Christians. we know/rebuke those people who live two different lives.

Yet — how have we become so callous and apathetic to His presence, that we don’t listen to his voice, let alone the many tugs and pushes he makes on us? Our God is a living God and He is alive and actively working in each one of our hearts.

*So won’t we listen? won’t we respond?*

The Spirit has challenged me to actively listen and obey His Will, to declare each day a day for Jesus. And to actively seek his heart, looking & sensing where he wants me to serve, where he wants me to listen, to be silent, to pray, or to declare His name — and man He has just been soo faithful, pouring out His Spirit on every part of my life!

*Quote*
“If the world is sane, then Jesus is mad as a hatter and the Last Supper is the Mad Tea Party. There is no such thing as your own business. The world says, Follow the wisest course and be a success, and Jesus says, Follow me and be crucified. The world says, Drive carefully – the life you save may be your own – and Jesus says, Whoever would and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. The world says, Law and order, and Jesus says, Love. The world says, Get, and Jesus says, Give. In terms of the world’s sanity, Jesus is crazy as a coot, and anybody who thinks he can follow him without being a little crazy too is laboring less under the cross than under a delusion. “We are fools for the faith that ultimately the foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of men, the lunacy of Jesus saner than the grim sanity of the world.” — Frederick Buechner

Yes — the world will think we’re crazy, point and ridicule us, but are we to continue to conform to ‘living our private lives’ or are we to truely live in the Spirit, in Jesus, and in the Father?

Do you dare to seek His heart?
To live your faith actively and stand apart from comfort & conformity?
*And to be a part of His Revolution?*

Here I Am For You
Steve Fee

Can I sit with You awhile
Can You hold me I’m Your child
Can I come to You with words so few and rest inside Your arms
Can I sit with You awhile

Can I listen to Your heart
Can I feel it beat with mine
I’ve come to love the way You cover me with who You are
Can I listen to Your heart

What better friend what better father
No greater King no other Savior
My only God, a perfect lover
Here I am for You