pain !
Comments(0) lots of passive working lately… well reading over material for my essay, and passive thinking/brainstorming for my essay thats due on the 3rd…. 8-10 pgs left of Japanese Tokugawa crazyness… doing impermanence, and the exemplified appreciation of ‘temporary’ beauty… and different concepts like iki which is like a balance of intense indulgence, and the self discipline to get out of it… which ironically as i read it is the total opposite to what i’m actually managing — with my time and everything… I really gotta start writing but as usual my motivation seems dead and everything… and my body seems to cry out for sleep and sloveness… what demotivation & drain. *sighs* 1 more essay, then 4 quick exams — but this essay is really droning on…. yikes.
kind of crazy — ultra unproductive, but I was thinking about it and hey its like my Enneagram type 6 — of being really really unhealthy psychologically :p
I feel like on the scale of healthiness i’d be pretty much smack into *level 5:*
To resist having more demands made on them, they react against others passive-aggressively. Become evasive, indecisive, cautious, procrastinating, and ambivalent. Are highly reactive, anxious, and negative, giving contradictory, “mixed signals.” Internal confusion makes them react unpredictably.
so bla bla bla — i’ve been meaning to go into a bit more psychoanalyzing of myself as well as those other topics i want to write about…. but as we can see perry is rather explosive and feeling silly and procrastinating…. so.. we’ll have to wait till after exams and stuff… should/probably need to up my ‘health level’ by talking to some friends and stuff.. but time seems extremely constricted… and that annoying essay must get finished..
so here goes — God help me!
*pain*
oh right — i went swimming today, cause i couldn’t really get started on my essay from physical exhaustion/drain, and i haven’t really been swimming since like…. last last year? so… my breaststroke was really yucky; couldn’t do a synchronized full cycle, similarly front crawl was totally out of synch (180 degree thing)… and coming out… my pectorial muscles are in pain *ahhhh* >.< but yes… enough blogging gotta get crunching… can’t really drive, stretch up, open doors.. *aiy* so out of shape..