pearbox : undefined

So tonight me, Gabes & Kat, and sherms went out for KBBQ and just in some reflection and thinking… made me realize how moving into this next life stage of ‘university’ has left so much ‘wind’ between each one of us… not to say we’re not close as before just, there’s so much air space, we don’t talk as often as we used to… (or perhaps thats just me?), but thats not really necessary right? The depth true sincere friendship - love, trust, faithfulness, memories, sentiment, that understanding vulnerability, acceptance — never changes, It trancends time, situation, environment, change — everything! We leave off… but we can pick it up right where we left it… its… beautiful…

Perhaps I’m romanticizing friendship? perhaps not… but I guess just in reflection and talking to Kat about tonight… really put me into thinking — the change that has occured… and i guess that feeling of missing… buried deep inside my heart — of just being with my best friends… Summer has started and its like a whole storm of activity and work is bristling in and out through every crevice of ‘free’ time there is. Gabes has work everyday — has softball on the weekends… Kat has other ministry obligations, and different things here and there … and just added to that already vast ocean of space during school I feel kind of removed… not left out, but more — mmm… hard to find the right word for it…. more like i feel like ‘ve neglected in some ways the two friendships i hold closest to my heart…

I guess in some ways I might just be ranting on in silliness and feelings of discontent, or that feeling of ‘not being used to ‘the distance…’ its just this sense of dissatisfaction.. and like I want to somehow bless these two very important people in my life.. I want to invest in them.. I want to appreciate them in some expressive way… however that might be… because they are truly God sent — and they’ve poured themselves out time and time again for me — so much love, faith, hope, courage, wisdom, everything…

Even being so far away to remember me… to persistantly pray for me. to share in edifying music… to share and listen to my long rants about all that Gods been showing me.. reflecting, encouraging me, rebuking me… and reminding me to stay true –

Gabes, Kat — I know I’m pretty bad with spoken words.. and my written words are rather wordy as well.. but man I really love you guys — forgive me for not being there at times… for not really being able to express my gratitude appreciation — cause you guys are the best! you’ve been with me through thick and thin… through tears.. smiles, heartbreak, and utter joy. You’ve stuck with me when everything turned to darkness… when i had lost all hope. You’ve pulled me back when my pride, or distorted point of view got the best of me… you’ve stuck close with grace & mercy when I’ve hurt you… and been an utter jerk… ah… words can’t express… but thank you guys… I really really appreciate you both. *sighs*

like the morning whispers, the softness of vapour
dissipates, vanishing away at the very hour of dawn
as morning winds blow… the mists ascends to the sky;
sending spring blossoms deep into the summer sun.
without shadow, without mark….
just the crimson red streaks…. of autumn’s setting sun.

thank you.~