I was listening to a sister in Christ share about some questions she had in regards to a ‘Godly’ or ‘Christ Centered’ Relationship, and a few thoughts just came to mind, feel free to give your input 
*Where Do you Draw the Line?*
This question I’ve struggled with a lot throughout my walk with God thus far, especially in trivial matters that aren’t always ‘clear cut’ — relationships being a big one; Sometimes you read the Word and you wonder, yah the ideas of purity, selfless love, thats super but it seems like its not very specific or clear cut when it comes to ‘how’ exactly we go about carrying out these values.
Like in a relationship, the idea of ‘physical purity’ is something Christians hold in high esteem because we want to worship and please God in everything we do — We want to ‘do it right’ we want a God pleasing, God centered, God willed relationship because then we are in His will, and we have His blessing.
And logically we wonder how do I go about making sure my relationship with this Godly man or woman is in God’s will? I want to set boundaries to make sure we don’t compromise integrity or purity — I want to make sure we’re always safe, and we go to the Word and look — what does God say about how ‘physical’ can we go in a relationship?
There’s the clear cut — no sex before marriage but where do you set the line? What does God say about holding hands, kissing, hugging, casual brushes or ‘the arm thing’ — you can read the Bible and there is no ‘clear cut’ answer (I guess unless you include the Holy Kiss thing, 2 Cor 13:12), about where one ’should’ set these boundaries.
And I think that that when we examine our hearts in why we ask these questions, we will find that the root of this question is fear and though the motive is good: I want to please God in my relationship — the fruit of it is legalism.
*note:* I’m not saying that setting clear lines/’boundaries’ is a bad thing — and by all means we need to be clear on what is ‘appropriate’ but there is a danger in trying to approach ‘problems’ with lines –
The danger of setting ‘lines’ on what is appropriate and what is not appropriate is two fold:
*1. Legalism*
This perhaps pertains more to people who see ’setting guidelines’ as oppressive, but the danger of legalism in terms of relationships is that ’sex before marriage’ might not be ok, but intimate kissing isn’t ‘in the rule’ so therefore i can go do that — even though we all know intimate kissing easily leads to making out & so on. We see the line — but we might test and go on the line and ‘technically have not past it’ — following the word of the law, but missing out on the spirit / intent.
*2. Works - Falling from Grace*
A more serious fallacy I believe is that the thinking involved with ’setting lines’ distracts the believer from knowing grace, and thus in some ways holding one back in their relationship with God.
The idea of ‘drawing lines’ is very much the same in principle to the role of the law in the Old Testament– It told the people what was acceptable and what wasn’t. This is a good and blessed thing but we need to see that Christ has died on the cross and removed separation for us caused by religiosity, legalism, etc. etc. We are free from the bondage of fear — and *we are set free in Christ!*
We are *not* given a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7), and much rather there is *no fear* in His perfect love (1 John 4:8), All things are permissible/lawful and not oppressive over us (1 Cor 6:12) –
And the very nature of law or ‘lines’ is that rather than looking on Christ and the freedom He has set us on — we put a burden on ourselves and we’re always worrying and fearful that we might fall past those guidelines, and thus not please God and somehow ‘fall out of the bounds of God’s blessing on our relationship — which in turn, our relationship is His Grace given to us freely.
A much more ‘healthy’ or ’scriptural’ way of looking at this problem of what is ‘appropriate’ or not — I think is just to focus on Christ — forget the law — don’t be like the foolish Galatians who after saving Grace put the yoke of the on their necks again. Rather live in freedom — y’know like — Jesus died on the cross so you can know Him, to be free to worship Him, to be free in relationships, all those grey areas, whatever! you don’t have to worry about what is ‘appropriate’ or not — just know Him, worship Him in all things focus on Christ!
For me, I guess the notion of a ‘Godly’ or ‘Christ Centered’ relationship has been on my mind quite a bit lately and to me. I don’t really ’see’ or ‘know’ how its ’suppose to work’ — but like I shared earlier in one of my posts –
To me — a Godly relationship be it a friendship or more than that; there are really two things to think about.
1. Glorify God
2. Edify Him/Her
In all things we do with that person — words, sharing, prayer, playing, intimacy we need to Glorify Him first and for most. Secondly in all those things, we need to edify Him/Her.
This is nothing new –
*Matthew 22:37-40 NKJV*
Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
With those 2 things in mind — we are constantly centered around Christ — We want for ourselves to please God — and to spur that brother or sister more and more towards Him –
*Emotional Intimacy*
And when you look at it that way — God is always first and foremost — our desire is for that brother or sister to go deeper and closer and more intimate with God, to know that richness and fullness of His Grace — that He would be filled completely by Him; Not putting our identity, value, worth, or spiritual emptiness on the other party but in Christ Alone.
To that end — we don’t have to worry about the ‘emotional intimacy’ because our security is in Christ, likewise for the worry about whether friendships may or may not develop into relationships, that is irrelevant because its not about what I can get — but about Christ in both our lives.
*smiles* thats what I think thus far–
hope that was edifying~
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