seeking..
I’ve been meaning to blog for the longest time now, got quite a lot to write and share with you about — just in terms of what God has been teaching and working in me these past few weeks since Exams — all these little lessons about Grace & just His sovereign provision and everything, got a little piece about ‘continuing in Grace’ and just a whole bunch of stuff I really want to write about — but either I haven’t had the time, or it hasn’t come to full fruition yet — so I can’t quite seem to get my thoughts and convictions down…
Either way — I’ll make the effort to write more and get all that down here sometime… Till then…
I’m feeling kind of empty & impatient with God, my heart wants to run away in fear — of just him not saying anything… kind of angstsy and wondering at this next change of seasons… like I know God is near, that by His blood I am bought into intimacy and open access to Him — I know he is present and speaking change into my life, just seeing the outflow of His tremendous beautiful work & provision; His loving and Sovereign will unfold in my life
but I guess as i just quiet down… can’t help but feel a deep draft of wanting more… but not getting enough — I’m hungry, thirsty, not satisfied; I’m tired, weary, and feeling directionless.. and just sitting down here and waiting for God… my heart just screams for Him to answer… but silence… waiting… *sighs* what woeful waiting..
like I feel really happy and utterly floored at what God has been doing in midst of this bleak season of ’spiritual winter’ — so much growth & Grace… but I’m really starting to feel weary…
O surrender..
God have mercy.