…
So what has been going on in the life of Perry?
Really hard to say actually… exam month has been sweeping by with a mix of church (Jaffray/TACF), time with daddy, time with my girlfriend, ministry (CCF), applying for jobs… oh and studying.
Not exactly sure what God is teaching me lately… let a lone saying much, but this past school year has been like that — more of His working and stirring up issues & building my character than any actual teaching on promises. I’m still dealing with inadequacies, social pressures, and the lot of stuff that I’ve been writing about this past while —
Was listening to a few more of them Song of Songs Sermons by Mike Bickle which really helped — and needing to learn, recognize, and understand what it truly means to be hidden in Him. What it means to not live according to the standards of this world no longer — but to walk completely in freedom & grace.
One of the simple lessons I learned back in first year –
“To find my identity, worth, and value in Him, and Him alone”
Really got to learn that again –
How Daddy see’s me, How His heart is ravished, enthralled, and captivated– and the beauty that He sees when He sees us — His children, His Church, His Bride.
To find confidence & security in my Lord.
*sighs* lots of stirrings & attacks in terms of feeling discouraged, despairing — family issues and the lot.
I think I’m depressed actually.
Yesterday & my brief stint & conflict with my dad was rather disheartening, really discouraging, hurtful, condemning (well i feel condemned), rejecting — and just that whole spirit of abandonment.
not fun.
Especially with the mix of doubt from Psychology, Philosophy, and Religion in the air, it seems like there is more and more cloudyness in the sovereignty and reality of God. & how i might come to relationship with Him
Yet still — He provides.
God is faithful, when we are faithless.
Praise God!