These past few days has been really hectic, draining emotionally, spiritually, physically just in every area for me. And I feel that God has been convicting me that I have been living quite an imbalanced life putting ministry all the planning and co-ordinating in the forefront when God has repeatedly beckoned for me to go to Him. Just like in Mary and Martha, I’ve somehow found myself cluttered with busyness instead of intimacy with God.
And because of that I’m tired. I’m doing so much and not spending time in silence and meditation or entering in the manifest presence and glory of God, not listening to God for the specifics He has for me. And as that consumes me, my ministry, my busyness becomes my idol; and it begins to creep into my heart wanting to declare itself my god, and object of my affections… it wants to define me and shape me.. trying to make me its ‘child.’
And Satan sees that and tempts me to despair — pushing my focus, my identity, my value, my worth and everything onto performance or ‘how things are going.’ And yesterday I just felt so drained and tired, so bogged down because of that lie, that feeling — that I’m totally spent but its still not enough… there’s always always more ministry and busyness to do.
So I just want to confess and repent of that — for believing the lies, despairing and losing hope — for trading intimacy for busyness..
Daddy –
I ask for more love, more power, just more of You in my life, cause God I’m tired of trying everything on my own, you have shown me countless of times that its not in what I do, but simply trusting you and doing the specific things which you commit to me to do. So Lord this year — for my relationship, my ministry, my academics, finances, everything — Lord would I begin it with you, and as you start it — you would finish it. You have called me to the office of chair, but my identity, worth, value, is in You. My Delight is in You! No one else, nothing else — completely in you; So Spirit would you come and deepen those convictions, consume the darkness, the lies which hold me back from serving you from trusting you in all areas — holistic. Lord I repent, and I ask that you would let my heart beat for the things which your heart beats and breaks for.. Daddy send revival to York, Bring the Harvest in — I’m ready to Go daddy… send me — send fire, and would your children dance in your river — delighting in you, The Joy of the Lord is our strength!
Secure me, Secure us — completely in your love, and nothing else.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Comments(2)